Linus Torvalds Jokes

Posted by Staci in 9 Jun, 2006   
in Daaahhh Avast!

Taking the world by storm, one nerd at a time!

If you ask Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.� After you ask, “Two seconds to what?� he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Filming Coding on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris a new Linux kernel, Linus Torvalds brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Chuck Linus giveth, and the good Chuck Linus, he taketh away.

Since 1940 1969, the year Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds.

In the movie “Back to the Future� they used Chuck Norris’ Linus Torvalds’ Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later they discovered is the cause of Parkinson’s disease.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds allows to live.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds has two speeds: walk and kill.

Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose’s crap.

Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds can divide by zero.

When Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds was cold, so he turned the sun up

Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds and Mr. T Cat Chapman Staci Tipsword walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building

If you spell Chuck Norris Linus Torvalds in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

More to come later!

Linus Torvalds! (thank you to wikimedia for hosting this picture for me like the nice generous people that I know the people at wikimedia are…. :) don’t hurt me….)