Okay, college is not working out. I really, really hate it here. I’m dropping out, moving back home, and getting a job. Next year, I will go to Harper (the community college).

I feel like a failure, but that’s okay. This just isn’t right for me right now; I’m not ready. I officially drop my classes tomorrow.

I miss my family, my friends, and my cat. I miss privacy. This just isn’t right for me. Not right now.

I’m not giving up on my education, I am just putting it off for a bit.
Oh, and I’ll finally get my driver’s license. Sometime soon, it’s definitely time.

So, goodbye, “So Ill.”

I am now down in Carbondale. Moving in to my dorm tomorrow. I’ve seen it already. I met one of my roommates, Liz. She seems nice. My bed sucks. I have to climb up the side to get to it (loft bed). I SUCK at climbing non slanted ladder things. Adventure, adventure. I have a really nice view of a lake/pond out of my window though.

I got a list of books that my Western Literature class (and probably my philosophy class) wants me to read. One is (lololololol) the bible. King James edition or some shit. I am in Barnes and Noble right now, going to go find it and buy it so I can be juvenile and draw satanic symbols and shit on it.

My mom is kind of funny. She’s just wacky.

By no means is this anywhere near a definitive list (like, in no way possible), just some lyrics I love and wish Trent would sing to me while he is violently raping me. (in b4 “it’s not rape if you enjoy it”)

“Bow down before the one you serve, you’re going to get what you deserve” - Head Like a Hole

“I want to fuck you like an animal, I want to feel you from the inside” - Closer (fuck it, that whole song is suggestive)

“And when I suck you off not a drop will go to waste, it’s really not so bad you know once you get past the taste” - Starfuckers ,Inc

“I let you put it in my mouth” - Vessel (this song is about drugs, but whatever )

And… I am too lazy to finish. I know there’s more, but now I’m turning every word in every song into some sort of innuendo, so I’ll just leave it like this. Feel free to add more.

I fucking love Trent Reznor. Even this fucked up awesome shit I just watched.

It’s called “Broken” and it’s a 20 minute movie made by Nine Inch Nails in 1993. It has various NIN songs in it. This video has the most fucked up visuals ever. I absolutely love it, I think it’s a work of art. It’s never been formally released (too graphic, lulz) but “seed0″ *cough*Trent*cough* released a fantastic copy on The Pirate Bay. I downloaded my copy off of Demonoid because I am a lazy fuck and didn’t want a DVD image. I haven’t downloaded The Pirate Bay version so I don’t know how/if/whatever it works, so don’t ask me.
I suggest watching it while massively high. On the best drugs you can find. And the strongest. Seriously, if you do not want to see gore, DO NOT WATCH. Or if you don’t want to see Trent Reznor in some fucking awesome fishnets.

Demonoid link (account needed) (just ask me)
TPB link

I just had the most awesome/weird dream ever. So, ever since last night I have been falling in love with Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails. I went to sleep, and then Trent and Thom Yorke of Radiohead (whom, interestingly, I have no sexual interest in, just musical interest) were fighting about who gets to sleep with me. It turned into a knock-down-drag-out fist fight, with Thom losing and bleeding everywhere (I think, if I remember right, that Trent tore off his arm somehow). I got between them and was like “Guys! Stop fighting! I love the both of you, just in different ways!” and Thom starting crying and wrote some fucked up song about it, which turned out sounding weirdly like rap music which makes no sense. And then (here’s my favorite part) Trent starting telling me the “whale joke” that my old history teacher from my junior year, Mr. Thorburn, likes to tell. I thought it was HILARIOUS and jumped on Trent and we started having sex, but then fell off a random cliff that appeared out of nowhere. When we hit the ground I woke up.

I think I speak for… well myself, when I say “WTF.”

FUCK YEAH FUCKING NINE INCH NAILS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!

Ahem.

EDIT: Pictures
Anywho, Lollapalooza was AMAZING. Radiohead was beautiful, Thom Yorke can fucking sing. My only complaint about their show was that they didn’t sing “Creep”, which I am sure most of you know is my favorite song (fuck, just look at my last.fm page if you didn’t know.) On day one, other than Radiohead, I also saw Gogol Bordello, a really cool gypsy punk band, and Bloc Party, the band that I didn’t know was so cool. I love their song “Mercury”, I fell absolutely in love with it after I heard it. I was right up front for Radiohead, but there was still some tall people in front of me so I really couldn’t get a good shot of Thom Yorke. Pity, really.

Day two was cool. I was basically waiting for Rage Against the Machine for most of the day, so I saw what acts were playing near the AT&T and MySpace stages. (I was just alerted to a tornado warning as I was writing this, lulz.) Anyways, there was Lupe Fiasco, which I has never heard of but they were pretty good, some other bands (mostly hip hop) that were performing but I didn’t pay attention to so I forget their names. Then came Rage. GREAT show. Even though the band had to interrupt their songs and ask the moshers who were practically killing each other to step back so people would stop getting hurt (I heard stories of broken bones, crushed feet, and even stabbings, but I doubt there were stabbings.) Fantastic performance, even though their speakers kind of failed and the sounds wasn’t nearly as loud as it should have been. I was not close at all, I was up on a hill, and since I am kind of short, the one picture I did take was of this dude’s back. That’s okay though.

Day three was kickass. I was waiting for Nine Inch Nails, so I stayed near the Bud Light stage, and the Playstation 3 stage was right near that. I saw some insignificant but okay bands, then Flogging Molly, which was really good, then Love and Rockets, which kind of sucked, really. The other bands were REALLY insignificant, but no matter. NIN more than made up for it. Trent Reznor fucking knows how to put on a show. Great lights, really cool screen, touch activated, it was weird and awesome. And of course, music from one of the best bands EVER. I could really only see the big screens on the sides from where I was, but that’s okay. The whole show was great, but I have to say when “Head Like a Hole” came on, the crowd totally fucking rocked out, and turned into a karaoke session, everybody screaming “HEAD LIKE A HOLE, BLACK AS YOUR SOUL, I’D RATHER DIE, THAN GIVE YOU CONTROL, HEAD LIKE A HOLE, BLACK AS YOUR SOUL, I’D RATHER DIE, THAN GIVE YOU CONTROL! BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE, YOU’RE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!” “The Hand That Feeds” was awesome too, and “Hurt” was just as awesome. But I’d have to say my favorite song of the night was “Head Like a Hole”. I had a great fucking time, and I’d have to say that NIN was better than Radiohead, which surprised the fuck out of me. But both were amazing.

I bought two shirts at Lolla. The first is a tie-dye shirt with the Lolla logo on the front (with a funky design) and on the back has the listing of all the bands. The second shirt is a Radiohead shirt, with the In Rainbows stylized text, with a lyric from “15 Step” (You used to be alright, what happened?) and it’s mirrored on the back and says “Radiohead” in the middle on the back. It’s also made from 50% polyester made from recycled plastic bottles.

I had a great time. Will upload pictures soon. EDIT: Pictures

Yeah, that’s right.

I just went to a fundraiser for Diana Drenth (Mr. Drenth[computer repair teacher]’s wife). I had so much fun.

I saw a bunch of my teachers there, including but not limited to, Mr. Mikulak (:O AND GIRLFRIEND!!!), Mr. Nichols (and wife), Mr. Harrington, Mr. Como, Mr. Koch, Mr. Sauer, Ms. Meyer, and Mr. Hatfield. Saw a bunch of students there too, but none so significant that they need to be named . Oh, and most of the teachers (Mikulak and Nichols, especially) were drunk drunk drunk. I hugged them. They smelled of alcohol.

And, best of all, I WON A FUCKING BUNDT CAKE. I love raffles.

And Mr. Drenth (is he Mike to me now? ah whatever) kissed me on the top of my head. I kissed him on the cheek. And gave him a check for $20, along with all the other money I spent on raffle tickets and silent auction (I won a necklace!). I’ve waited TWO YEARS for that kiss, and it was worth every second.

All in all, I had a great time. There was a quadrillion people there, so I am sure that they raised tons of money. So, I think I speak for everyone when I say:

FUCK YOU CANCER!!!!!

I officially got accepted to Southern Illinois University - Carbondale. So, I am now one of these:

SALUKI!

Seemingly all Hugh Laurie all the time as of right now…

Just testing this out, and I have no idea how it really works, so I have no idea if I’m doing this right at all. Feel free to suggest YouTube videos that should go there.

Oh come on, you KNOW it needs to happen!