Rob. Indeed.

This blog is so broken and I blame CAT CHAPMAN.

I hate that song.

Another Version of the Truth is the title of the fan-made DVD that the ninnies have been planning since that infamous Curtain Call post on nin.com. If you want to help out (or get a copy of the finished product) head on over to This One Is On Us.

So, my first update in a shitlong of a time will be about NIN, again.

Deal with it.

Anyways, there’s this song called “Not So Pretty Now” that was left off of With Teeth. An AMAZING copy of a rehearsal of it (and other songs) has showed up on the interwebs, and the ninnies are going crazy. Seriously, quality is AMAZING. Soundboard, apparently. Check this thread on ETS for all talk of these recordings, and for download links.

So, I was listening to the lyrics, and I first thought it might be about Manson. The time period, and the circumstances between Trent and Manson, it makes sense kinda.

But now I have a different theory. Maybe Trent is referring to himself, and his battle with drugs previously. Here’s reasons why I think this:

• “Well go take a little more / We’ll scrape you off the floor” sounds to me like it’s referring to drugs, such as taking more drugs, and then being completely sick and delirious and your friends having to help you out, “scraping you off the floor”.
• “We love you anyhow” could be Trent speaking as his friends, or his band mates, or his family.
• “But you’re not so pretty now” I’m thinking of Pretty Hate Machine. Maybe Trent’s referring to himself as a “pretty hate machine” but he’s “not so pretty now” when messed up on drugs.
• “A great big superstar / is what you think you are” could be Trent obviously referring to his fame, and how touring (because he’s famous) fueled his drug habit. Also, referring to his huge ego (although rightfully deserved, in my opinion).

That’s just my analysis of the chorus, I’m sure if I wasn’t so tired and wanted to spend more time on it I could compare more from the rest of the verses, but I think this is enough for now to get my point across. So that’s what I’m thinking. I’m probably way off base though.
I’m also completely in love with this song. It’s extraordinarily good. And very catchy. Constantly stuck in my head.

That’s all for now of my psychotic ramblings. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Since I haven’t posted in a while, and I still don’t have anything to post about, I figured I would post my lists of Nine Inch Nails halos that I own, and also the halos that I do not yet own.

Halos That I Have:

Halo 1 - Down In It (not in original case, also missing back insert)
Halo 2 - Pretty Hate Machine
Halo 3 - Head Like a Hole
Halo 5 - Broken
Halo 7 - March of the Pigs
Halo 8 (DVD-A) - The Downward Spiral DualDisc
Halo 10 - Further Down The Spiral
Halo 11 - The Perfect Drug (Versions)
Halo 13 - The Day The World Went Away
Halo 14 - The Fragile
Halo 16 - Things Falling Apart
Halo 17 - And All That Could Have Been (DVD)
Halo 17 - And All That Could Have Been
Halo 17 - Still
Halo 19 - With Teeth
Halo 21 - Every Day Is Exactly The Same
Halo 22 - Beside You In Time (DVD and Blu-Ray)
Halo 23 - Survivalism
Halo 24 - Year Zero
Halo 25 - Y34RZ3R0R3M1X3D
Halo 26 - Ghosts I-IV
Halo 27 - The Slip (digipack)
Halo 27 - The Slip (x2) (202,804 opened, 6,341 unopened)

Also - Natural Born Killers OST

Halos That I Still Need:

Halo 4 - Sin (single)
Halo 6 - Fixed (remixes)
Halo 8 - The Downward Spiral (LP)
Halo 8 DE - The Downward Spiral (Deluxe Edition)
Halo 9 - Closer To God (single)
Halo 12 - Closure (VHS set)
Halo 15 - We’re In This Together (import single)
Halo 18 - The Hand That Feeds (single)
Halo 19 DVD-A - With Teeth (DualDisc)
Halo 20 - Only (single)
Halo 26 DE - Ghosts I-IV (Deluxe Edition)
Halo 26 LE - Ghosts I-IV (Limited Edition, signed by Trent, w/ vinyl and other goodies)

The site’s been coming together quite nicely.

http://trentcanibiteyourthigh.com in case you haven’t visited yet.

Also, I’ve hidden something there. Nerdy people will probably figure it out. It’s not anything new in the NIN world, but I just figured I’d add it to be silly. It’s my site, so what the hell, why not? If nobody finds it, well, then nobody finds it.

But if you do find it, you can email me to tell me what a dumbass I am.

No, not me. This guy.

NSFW (if you thought it was, WTF) http://cdn61.xtube.com/e8/watch_video.php?v_user_id=Icarusfalling&cv=8&idx=8&v=Qh3Sq_C619_&cl=6v4Ta_C619_&from=&ver=3&ccaa=1&qid=&qidx=&qnum=&preview_flag=

My new site, http://trentcanibiteyourthigh.com

It’s a work in progress, but will probably stay pretty consistant. Enjoy!

Today was great. I went to my old high school to do some stuff, and I talked with some of my old teachers, hugs all around. Great to see them again. <3

I got my yearbook too. And one of my poems, which I submitted to Rebus, actually got published in it! I can't believe it! This is the poem. I’m shocked, really.

And, possibly best of all, my aunt got me tickets to go see Nine Inch Nails in Grand Rapids, MI! I am SO FUCKING EXCITED! I get to see the best show of my life once again, and I thought it wasn’t going to happen. This is awesome.

Seriously, possibly best day of my life so far. Now if only I could find my TV remote…

EDIT: oh, and if you are reading this, HI DAWN!!!!!!!

I wrote this originally in a post at the nin.com forums, and I thought maybe I should share it here too. The OP’s post was about how he/she went to a NIN concert, and was ten feet away from Trent, and felt like he/she was falling into insanity through Trent, because they believe Trent is as well. It’s hard to explain. This reminded me of… well, me.

This reminded me of something. I’m about to go a tiny bit off topic, but stay with me here.

When I started my senior year of high school (2007/2008 school year) I got this English teacher that I fell madly in love with. I am not talking about the typical schoolgirl crush on her teacher, I mean I was in complete rapture, obsession, bordering on insanity. I don’t know what it was about him, but he lit up my life in so many ways. I quickly learned that he, like me, suffered from depression and bouts of bipolar disorder-like tendencies. I fell even more deeply into this weird love than before. Once my semester with him was over, my heart was crushed, but I still saw him almost every day, just to visit, or we passed in the hall, or something similar.

While I had his class, I learned he authored a book, and I read it. He made his own personality into the narrator, and was technically a character. Many events in this book, pertaining to the narrator, were very sad. He would talk about similar stories in class, so I knew which ones were at least inspired by what had happened to him. His father would beat and yell at his mother, and wave a gun around threatening to kill himself because she wouldn’t give him the sex he desired. His mother went into a mental hospital after a mental breakdown, and received shock treatment. And lots of other really depressing things. I began to feel depressed for him, praying to whomever each night that I could take on his pain instead of him.

I had a Psychology class that semester, and it was right next door to his class. I would touch the wall behind my desk and imagine him standing there on the other side. He came to our class one day in the spring for a roleplay thing, where he pretended to be a person that the class would “diagnose”. He used a lot of these same stories, and expanded on them, and added new things that seemed perfectly plausible to all be true. The way he looked and sounded, it was like this was him speaking about himself, not a character. That night I went home and emailed him a thank you for what he did for the class. After that I took all of my prescription medication I had, every last pill in every last bottle in an attempt to kill myself, because I was feeling “his pain” so much, because I had allowed myself to fall in so deep into this obsession.

I went to the hospital, drank activated charcoal, and was put in an adolescent mental ward for a week. I felt better once I got out, but I still feel that pain, even though I haven’t seen him since the end of the school year (once I got back to school, he must’ve known that what I did had something to do with him, and he paid close attention to my moods and such. I feel bad for making him worry.)

Okay, now that you know my background story (if you got through all that I am impressed) I must say, I feel that I am starting to get the same way about Trent. It scares me a lot, because I am starting to feel Trent’s pain through his songs, and wishing he had no pain so that I could carry it on myself instead. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not about to kill myself over it, but it certainly is scaring the shit out of me.